When Egos Attack: Unmasking Narcissistic Abuse in the Office : Future Focus Counselling & Consulting

Understanding and acknowledging the reality of narcissistic abuse in the workplace is a crucial step toward fostering healthier working environments. Narcissism is a term we often hear, but its implications for a professional setting might not be as widely recognized or understood. Narcissists can create toxic work environments, which, if left unaddressed, could lead to emotional distress, decreased productivity, and employee turnover. In this blog post, we delve into the world of narcissistic abuse at work and provide some strategies to handle such challenging situations.

What is Narcissism?
To understand narcissistic abuse, we first need to comprehend what narcissism entails. Derived from the Greek myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with his reflection, narcissism is a term used to describe a person’s excessive self-love or self-centeredness. In a pathological sense, it refers to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), a mental condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.

Narcissistic Abuse at Work
In a workplace context, narcissistic abuse often manifests as a pattern of behavior where the narcissist exercises power, control, and manipulation to satisfy their own needs at the expense of others. It can come from superiors, colleagues, or subordinates and may involve various tactics like gaslighting, undermining, criticism, and blaming.

Gaslighting, for example, is a manipulative tactic where the abuser makes the victim question their own reality or sanity. The narcissist may deny that certain events occurred or discount the victim’s feelings. This can create an environment of self-doubt and confusion, often leaving victims feeling insecure and unsure of their own abilities.

Recognizing the Signs
Recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse at work is the first step toward dealing with it effectively. These may include:

  • Excessive Criticism and Undermining: Narcissists often belittle their colleagues or employees, constantly criticizing them and undermining their capabilities and achievements.
  • Exploitation: Narcissists are known to take advantage of others to get what they want, disregarding other people’s feelings or needs.
  • Lack of Empathy: Narcissists show little concern for others’ feelings or perspectives, often dismissing them outright.
  • Control and Manipulation: Narcissists typically want to control the narrative and manipulate situations to their advantage.
  • Blame Shifting: Instead of accepting responsibility, narcissists are quick to shift the blame onto others for their own mistakes or failures.

Dealing with Narcissistic Abuse at Work
Narcissistic abuse can have severe impacts on one’s mental health and work productivity. Here are some strategies to handle such situations:

  1. Setting Boundaries: Set firm and clear boundaries regarding what is acceptable behavior. It’s important to communicate these boundaries effectively and assertively.
  2. Seeking Support: Having a support system within or outside the workplace can provide emotional assistance. It can be helpful to share your experiences with trustworthy colleagues, friends, family, or a mental health professional.
  3. Documenting Interactions: Keep records of incidents that involve narcissistic abuse. This can be important if you need to report the situation to human resources or seek legal assistance.
  4. Self-Care: Prioritize your mental health. This may include practices like mindfulness, meditation, exercise, or seeking therapy.
  5. Professional Guidance: In some cases, you might need to involve human resources or consult with a legal professional.

Remember, no one deserves to be subjected to abuse of any kind in the workplace. Understanding the signs of narcissistic abuse and knowing how to deal with them can help create a healthier, safer work environment for everyone.

References

  1. Bashir, T. (2013). Narcissistic Leaders and Their Victims: Followers Low on Self-Esteem and Low on Core Self-Evaluations Suffer Most. In: Crossman, J. (eds) Handbook of Research on Leadership and Creativity. Edward Elgar Publishing.
  2. Lubit, R. (2002). The long-term organizational impact of destructively narcissistic managers. Academy of Management Executive, 16, 127-138.
  3. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.).

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I am licensed to practice in Washington State and the following Canadian Provinces: Yukon, British Columbia, Northwest Territories, Nunavut, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Newfoundland.